Dating and Domestic Violence Awareness
Domestic violence is when a person physically or psychologically harms a blood relative or any current or former intimate partner, family member, roommate or dating partner. According to the Illinois Department of Public Health, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States and results in a female being physically injured every 15 seconds. Victims of domestic violence come in all ages, races, socioeconomic levels, and religions, as well as both genders.
Domestic violence occurs in all types of intimate relationships, including dating, same-sex and family related relationships, as well as marriages. Domestic violence is a crime and victims should keep in mind:
- They are not alone. One-fourth of all relationships include violence.
- Domestic violence victims often have feelings of helplessness, isolation, guilt, fear and shame. However, victims are not the cause of someone else’s violent behavior, nor do they deserve to be abused.
- All individuals have the right to make their own choices, including the decision to leave an abusive situation/relationship.
- Indications of domestic violence include a partner or family member that:
- Constantly tracks a victim’s schedule and whereabouts;
- Controls a victim by being demanding and overbearing, discouraging the victim’s relationships with family and friends and/or forcing the victim to account in detail for any money that they spend;
- Is jealous, possessive and constantly accuses the victim of being unfaithful;
- Humiliates the victim in front of others;
- Destroys personal property or items of sentimental value;
- Threatens the victim or their children with physical violence;
- Hits, punches, kicks, chokes or slaps the victim or their children; and/or
- Forces a victim to have sex against their will.
- Victims or persons who are aware of domestic violence situations should not ignore the problem.
- It will not stop or get better on its own.
- The longer a person stays in an abusive relationship, the more intense the violence will become.
- Part of the abuser’s power comes from secrecy and isolation.
- It is important for a victim to plan ahead and know what they will do if they are attacked again.
- If planning to leave, a victim should decide where to go ahead of time.
- If planning to leave, a victim should pack a bag and have it ready to go, but keep the bag in a private, easily accessible place. The bag should include:
- Money, checkbook, credit cards, personal identification, keys (house, car and work), medications, toys (if taking children) and important papers.
- Victims of domestic violence may seek assistance from the following organizations:
- Local Police, 9-1-1
- SIUE Police, Emergency 9-1-1 or non-emergency (618) 650‑3324
- SIUE Counseling Services, (618) 650‑2842
- Phoenix Crisis Center, Granite City, (618) 451‑1008
- Oasis Women’s Center, Alton, (618) 465‑1978
- Violence Prevention Center of Southwestern Illinois, (618) 236‑0892 (Belleville) or (618) 394‑8630 (E. St. Louis)
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence hotline, (800) 799‑7233
If you are the victim of domestic violence, seek help immediately by calling the police, a crisis center, a domestic violence shelter, a family member or a friend. You don’t have to live with abuse – take control of your life.
