Roommate Survival 101
Living with a roommate can be an extremely enjoyable or a terribly frustrating experience. It would be great if you and your roommate became friends for life; however, that is not always the case. Following are some tips on how to make your roommate experience more enjoyable.
- Agree to communicate with each other in an open, honest and respectful manner.
- Everyone is not the same as you and will have different likes and dislikes.
- Try to learn about each other’s personalities and quirks as soon as you can.
- Since you do not know what is in your roommate’s thoughts, give them the benefit of the doubt and do not be too quick to jump to the feeling of being disrespected or belittled.
- Negotiate ground rules early on regarding quiet/study hours, when guests are welcome and for how long, which personal property is off-limits and which can be shared, who cleans what and how often, etc.
- Respect your roommate’s stuff. Do not use each other’s belongings without permission.
- Keep sleep time sacred by establishing hours of quiet time that will be observed at all times so both of you can get adequate rest.
- Respect your roommate’s privacy and be careful as to who you bring into your room and how often.
- Everyone has bad days. Do not take it personally if your roommate is having a bad day and is in a bad mood. Just try to give them a little extra space that day.
- Periodically show your appreciation for the nice and/or considerate things your roommate does.
- Facebook is a social networking tool – not a weapon. Show your maturity and do not post sarcastic, mean spirited or threatening statements about your roommate on a public web site such as Facebook. As the old adage says “If you don’t have anything nice to say (about your roommate), don’t say anything at all.”
- Your roommate cannot read your mind so discuss problems as they arise rather than letting them fester from molehills into mountains. When discussing problematic issues:
- Speak calmly, respectfully and honestly in a non-accusatory manner and be sure to choose your words carefully.
- Focus on the behavior involved and not on the person.
- Begin your statements with “I”, as in “I get really annoyed when dirty clothes are left strewn about our room” instead of “You’re such a slob!”
- If you bring up an issue, be prepared to present several options as to how the problem might be resolved and be open to other possible remedies.
- Do not take comments negatively or personally. View them as constructive criticism.
- Do not chicken out and address problems by leaving a handwritten note. No matter what your intent, notes almost never resolve the issue and are readily seen as sarcastic and hateful. Thus, they only serve to inflame the situation.
- Practice the “Golden Rule” by treating your roommate as you would like to be treated.
- Never compromise on illegal activity in your room and do not let a roommate get you involved in criminal behavior. Report illegal activity in your room to the police or a Resident Advisor (RA) as soon as possible.
Remember, if all else fails, you can request assignment to another room. However, the grass is not always greener on the other side and you could end up with an even worse roommate.
