Healthy Masculinity
While the concept of gender is often associated with women, statements like “man up” or “real men don’t cry” reflect gendered expectations for men, too. Consider the term “guy code” which refers to the unspoken rules that men are “supposed” to follow.
How do men learn the rules? (Princeton University, 2018)
Beginning in childhood, boys and men are often called out for behavior that doesn’t match society’s definition of manhood or masculinity. It could take the form of name calling (“sissy,” “punk,” “wuss”), being told that they're gay or “throw like a girl,” or aggression against them such as hitting, bullying, or even sexual assault. This forces men to make a choice to either:
- Go along with stereotypical male roles, even if they personally don’t agree with them; or
- Push back against the rules and feel like they’re moving against the masses.
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Adhering to male stereotypes: |
Allowing a fuller range of emotions and behaviors: |
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This can lead to men not taking care of themselves, not recognizing that others need help, and in some cases actually hurting other people. |
This allows men to take care of themselves, recognize when others need help, care for others, and contribute to a more respectful culture for all genders. |
Research shows that MOST men don't personally agree with “real men” stereotypes. However, many men go along with the expected attitudes and behaviors because they think most other men believe in them. What that means is that most men actually support a fuller range of human emotions and behaviors.
There are many positive qualities that historically have been defined as either masculine (leadership, strength, courage) or feminine (nurturing, compassion, caring). Realistically, people are individuals with a unique combination of attributes. By getting rid of the rules about who can have what qualities, people of all genders can be respected for who they are.
How to encourage men to be themselves, instead of being confined to stereotypes:
- Address disrespect by calling people in/out for their behaviors/attitudes.
- Allow men to express a wide range of emotions (happiness, sadness, frustration, confusion, compassion, empathy, etc.).
- Encourage men to demonstrate nurturing, compassionate, and caring behavior toward themselves and others.
- Create openings for men to share their experiences and feelings, especially if you sense there's a problem.
- If you see a man hurting, check in with him.
- If you are a man, ask for help when you are struggling.
- Volunteer with SIUe’s Prevention Education and Advocacy Center (PEACe) to help educate faculty/staff and students on healthy masculinity.
There are many different ways to be a man. Acknowledging this provides an opportunity for everyone to be respected for who they are and give respect to others.
For further information, check out these resources listed below.
